Sirius Black: Expert Babysitter
by Noodlez
Summary: Sirius is called in to baby-sit little Harry Potter while James and Lily are out for the night. It’s a shame he’s had no previous experience watching small children…PG just to be safe, never know what Sirius will say! RR!
1. Lily's Expectations

Summary: Sirius is called in to baby-sit little Harry Potter while James and Lily are out for the night. It's a shame he's had no previous experience watching small children…

A/n: Uh-oh…Noodlez is on the loose again…but this time she's not writing an angst fic! [gasp!] And it's not a one-shot either! [double gasp!] No, this time she's writing a humor fic in the world of Harry Potter! Previously, Noodlez had ventured into the insane-Harry Potter-fan fiction genre only with co-writers to keep her in check; but as her friend _Duckie_ has neglected to _send_ poor Noodlez the 3rd installment of the OFG ficcies, Noodlez has been forced to find other ways to use her lunacy! (Yes, Duckie, I'm still aiming for that guilt trip, and Sirius can't seem to find his armor to defend you this time! lol! I still love you Duckie!) Special thanks to Bond for inspiring this and Eryn for being so patient with me!

Disclaimer: I may not own Harry Potter, but I will SOON own a very lovely piece of Sirius Black fan art drawn by none other than Eryn the Shrub (see Lord of the Rings Karaoke Dance Party)!! And none of you [points to readers] can have it! Nyah!

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Sirius Black: Expert Babysitter

Chapter one: Lily's Expectations

Sirius landed his motorbike in a disorderly fashion on the lush grass of his best friends' home at dusk. Grinning lopsidedly, he dismounted and sauntered up to the front door. Reaching up, he grasped the bronze doorknocker. It was shaped like a lion's head; you could expect no less from Godric Gryffindor's ancestral home. He knocked twice and the door was answered almost immediately by a ruffled-looking James Potter.

"Finally," James said, holding open the door and allowing Sirius to enter, "Lily's going stark raving mad, she's not too keen on leaving Harry alone."

"Alone? He's not going to be alone! I'll be here with him." Sirius said.

James smiled apologetically, adjusting his tie, "Well, as far as she's concerned, that's not much better."

"Oh?"

The pair walked into the lavishly furnished living room.

"Why is that?" Sirius asked.

"Why's what?"

"Why does Lily think I'm just as bad as leaving Harry alone?"

"Oh…Well, maybe it has something to do with the last time you watched Harry…" James offered.

"But his hair grew back! And the flood didn't even leave water stains!" Sirius tried to argue his point.

"I know, mate, I know. But Lily…she, erm…well…" James was lost for words and trying not to laugh.

"_Maybe_ she is having a hard time allowing the same reckless adult watch her infant son again!" James and Sirius turned to find Lily with her hands on her hips. Her dark red hair was done up elegantly and she was wearing a silk formal gown that matched her eyes, but neither James nor Sirius let her delicate appearance fool them. She strode forward and shook a gloved finger in Sirius's face. "James may be on your side, which leaves me momentarily outnumbered, but I swear, Sirius Black, if ONE HAIR is out of place on my son's head--"

Sirius interrupted, "How could you even tell? It's as messy as James's!"

"--when we get home, I'll hex you into next week!" Lily finished, jabbing Sirius in the chest with her finger.

Sirius held his hands up in mock-surrender, "I promise! I'll take better care of Harry than Moony did with his school books!"

Lily bit back a grin, narrowed her eyes in a semi-threatening manner, then turned to her husband, "Alright, I think this is a bad idea…but it is just for the night." She looked at Sirius, "Maybe you can redeem yourself."

James winked at Sirius, then grabbed Lily's jacket and draped it over her shoulders.

"Baby food and formula are in the top cabinet, feed him, bathe him, and get him to bed before eight o'clock." Lily instructed Sirius, who had conjured a notepad and was making a show of taking detailed notes. "Oh, don't be such a wise-ass, Sirius!"

Sirius grinned cheekily at Lily, "Can't help it. It's just my nature."

James snickered, "We know, Padfoot. It always has been."

Sirius bowed and Lily threw her hands up in frustration, "Honestly, you two!" She rounded on James, "How can you expect to be a good example for our son if you continue to act like you did at Hogwarts?!" She then turned to Sirius, "And you! You're supposed to be responsible too! You're his godfather!"

"Yes, Lily," James said soothingly, "but there's no harm in a little fun, is there?"

James and Sirius both adopted the sweetest, most innocent faces they could manage. Lily eyed them shrewdly, then finally smiled.

"No, I supposed not," she relented, Sirius and James high-fived each other and Lily continued, "if we're all _mature_ about it."

"Aw, Lily! You take the fun out of everything!" Sirius moaned.

Lily nodded curtly and smiled, "My one goal in life!"

"Alright, alright," Sirius rubbed his hands together, "now where is the little munchkin?"

"He's upstairs in his crib." James replied, grabbing Lily's hand and tugging her towards the front door.

"Have Harry in bed by eight!" Lily called as she was dragged away, "If he's fussy, read to him! There's books by the crib!"

Sirius followed his friends to the door, "Yes, yes, books, okay."

"Lukewarm bath water, and DON'T leave it running this time!"

"Right, lukewarm, watch the water, check." Sirius nodded, trying to shut the door.

Lily latched onto the doorframe to hurl one last threat, "One thing gone wrong, Sirius! I mean it!"

"Don't worry," Sirius laughed, "I fear your wrath enough to be on my best behavior!"

Finally, Lily seemed satisfied and smiled sweetly, "Okay then, you two have fun."

"Well be home around midnight, Padfoot." James gave him the thumbs up, "Try not to muck this up, alright, mate?"

"Who, me? Never! I'm a responsible adult!" Sirius replied.

James opened his mouth to make a snide remark, but found the door shut in his face. He laughed and turned to Lily who was still smiling. They both chuckled as they heard the locks click into place signaling for them to go away.

"Locked out of our own house, hm?" she giggled.

"Aw, who cares, we're out for a night on the town!" James replied, offering his arm to Lily, who took it. "Shall we go then, love?"

"Lets do."

------------------

Sirius shut the door before he had to listen to any ribbing James was going to give him.

"Alright then, time to go get Harry…"

Sirius climbed the stairs and entered the nursery. In the crib in the corner, little Harry sat gurgling and giggling as he reached for the tiny charmed Qudditch balls spinning above him. The balls circled lower and lower and Harry cooed sweetly and made a quick grab for the small, winged, golden ball. Sirius found himself smiling proudly at his godson. He strode over as the Qudditch balls began to rise again and bent over the edge of the crib.

"Already preparing for your House team, eh?" he questioned the child below him. "Of course you are. You're going to be great, it's in your blood."

Harry smiled toothlessly and stretched his arms out to Sirius.

"You want up? Well, alright, I think I can help with that." Sirius reached into the cradle and took Harry into his arms. Harry giggled happily and Sirius couldn't help but smile again. "Well then, Harry, I think we should find something to eat, don't you?"

Harry clapped and Sirius laughed as he exited the nursery and headed for the kitchen.

A/n: **End chapter one! I told you it wasn't a one-shot! Wow, isn't that amazing?! Please leave me a review!! I love feedback…I'LL GIVE YOU A COOKIE! That's right, reviewers get cookies! No…not my Oreos… snatches bag away I don't share those…Anywho, tell me if I should continue!**


	2. Nutritious Dinner

A/n: Wow! That's the quickest I've gotten so many awesome reviews!! Thanks to Star-Stallion, damson rhee, Erenriel the Elven Canuck, kokobunny, Potter-Lover91, AuroraAbbie Snape, lemon/lime, sari, Amanda Lily Potter, Eggo Waffle, Hannah, ExtremePotterFan, LightningSpear, angechaos, and ERMonkey! [tosses chocolate chip cookies into the air like confetti]. Enjoy! If you want more cookies, leave more reviews! .

Disclaimer: Single female seeking skinny boy with messy black hair, glasses, green eyes, magical abilities, and lightning bolt shaped scar…[sigh] Still can't seem to make Harry my own…JKR isn't very good at sharing!

**Sirius Black: Expert Babysitter**

**Chapter two:** Nutritious Dinner

"Stop pinching!" Sirius yelped as Harry, once again, demonstrated the surprising strength his tiny fingers held.

Sirius managed to pry the infant from his arm and deposit him on his high-chair. Harry suddenly began pounding on the tray in front of him and screaming with laughter. Sirius blinked and took a step back.

"What are you doing, kid?" he asked, watching interestedly as Harry continued to beat the tray as if it were a drum.

Sirius shrugged after a moment, then grabbed the bib that was hanging on the side of the chair. He stepped forward with the intent of tying the bib around Harry's neck, but Harry had other plans.

"Pahfoo!" he squealed, clenching his hand around the cloth suspended in front of him.

"Yes, Harry. Uncle Padfoot needs to tie this on so you don't get a mess all over yourself."

"Pahfoo! Pahfoo! Pahfoo!" Harry repeated. He tried to pull the bib from Sirius's grip.

Sirius wrenched the bib from Harry's grasp, "No! No, you wear this! It's not a toy!"

Harry's lip trembled and tears welled up in his eyes. He was going to get that bib, one way or another.

"Oh no…," Sirius held up his hands, "Don't cry! No, Harry, don't start crying!"

But Harry paid him no mind and instead began wailing and beating his fists on the tray once again. Sirius plugged his fingers in his ears.

"Okay! Okay fine!" he forked over the bib to Harry, who immediately stopped his bawling and grabbed it. "But no more mad fits! Obviously the mix between Prongs and Lily's tempers is going to be a problem…"

Sirius turned to the cabinets and fished out a jar of baby food. He opened the silverware drawer and retrieved a tiny, Harry-sized spoon. After opening the jar of food, he placed both on the tray in front of Harry.

"Alright," Sirius rubbed his hands together, "There ya go, go on, eat."

Harry blinked at Sirius, eyed the jar of apricot mush with utter disdain, then reached out and knocked the jar off the tray.

"No!" Sirius dove and caught the jar of baby food before it hit the ground and he had a mess to clean up. He straightened up and put the jar back on the tray and grabbed up the spoon. He scooped a small amount up and held the spoon up to Harry. "Eat. I bet it's really good Harry!"

Harry narrowed his green eyes at Sirius and pushed the spoon away with a grunt.

Sirius raised an eyebrow, "Obviously you don't have the same opinion of the stuff…" he looked to the goop on the spoon and wrinkled his nose, "…and I'm not sure I could blame you."

He picked the jar up, replaced the lid, and slid it back into the cabinet.

"Well, we don't want any of those yucky jarred fruits, now do we?" he looked over his shoulder at Harry who was once again smiling, now assured that he wasn't going to be force fed. Sirius walked across the room, opened the icebox, and peered inside, "So lets just see what we can--ah!"

He withdrew a large carton of Florean Fortescue's famous ice cream. Sirius grinned mischievously, eyes twinkling, and closed the icebox. He got out two bowls (one much smaller than the other) and scooped the rich chocolate ice cream into them. Sirius then turned and put the small bowl in front of his godson, who screamed in delight and shoved his hands into the frozen treat.

"Harry, no!" Sirius set his bowl down on the counter and grabbed Harry's arms, "Not with your hands! Here."

He shoveled some ice cream up and fed it to Harry. The infant swallowed and giggled happily; he was enjoying this dinner much more than he would have mashed apricots.

"Well, that's much better than what mum and dad feed you, now isn't it? Just don't tell them I let you have this for dinner, Lily'd have my head." After another few spoonfuls Sirius stopped and looked at Harry, "Oh, Harry, you're a mess. How'd you manage that? I was feeding you!"

Harry's chin was dripping with ice cream and his shirt was stained due to not wearing his bib. Thankfully, the bowl was now empty. Sirius sighed and turned to his own bowl, which was partially melted.

"Ugh, wonderful…" he put the bowl back into the icebox.

"Mo! Mo! Mo!" Harry chanted, once again beating his little fists on the tray in front of him.

"No, no more," Sirius picked up a napkin and attempted to wipe Harry's face, "Oh well, you have to have a bath anyway…" He pulled his wand from his pocket and pointed it at Harry's dinner-bowl, "_Scourgify_."

Harry made a grab for the wand with a grunt of 'Mine!'. Sirius laughed and shoved the wand back into his pocket.

"No, not yours. Not until you get your Hogwarts letter." he ruffled Harry's hair, "You're gonna love Hogwarts. Secret passages, all kinds of hiding places, perfect for finding pranking victims. And Quidditch! Sure, Professor McGonagall is a bit of a stick in the mud, and Dumbledore's a bit… er, eccentric…but you don't have to worry about that. No, you won't get caught once we're finished training you up a bit. You'll do the Marauders proud, I'm sure of it."

Harry stared up at Sirius, "Mauders!"

"That's right, Harry!" Sirius laughed, "Marauders!"

Sirius grinned and leaned against the counter, reminiscing about his Hogwarts days while Harry hammered the highchair tray with his spoon. After a few moments Harry started making strange, grunting noises. Sirius snapped from his reverie at a loud noise that was accompanied by a hideous stench.

Sirius pulled a face, "Oh, Harry, you didn't…"

Harry grinned up at his godfather innocently, but the smell was unmistakably coming from the child. Under him, to be specific. Sirius wrinkled his nose and hauled Harry from the highchair.

"Someone definitely needs his nappy changed…goody…" Sirius muttered under his breath, trudging up the stairs with Harry at arms-length.

A/n: Haha! Look! I got to use the word 'nappy'!! Wow, that's exciting! ; Okay, everyone, you know the drill. Leave a review, tell me what you thought of chapter two! When we make it to 25 reviews I'll put chapter three up! So if you want it soon, tell your friends to read! And there's always the cookies! [holds up plate of fresh baked batch] Mmmmm, smell that? Lol, I'm just being mean now, but please review!


	3. Bathtime Chaos

A/n: Wow again! The reviews came so fast! I was over 30 reviews before I'd even finished the chapter! Everyone forgive me for not updating sooner, I would have had this up yesterday, but I was off in 'Not-supposed-to-be-on-the-computer' land! That's what I get for staying on the phone till 2am…heh…I promise to _try_ and be a bit more responsible, but bear with me, being bad is so tempting!

Erenriel the Elven Canuck- Yes, I'm an evil, scheming, manipulative, bribing little girl, aren't I?! The ice cream thing came from my own experience, and you're right in saying that it was a very BAD idea. I never want to see another Barney video as long as I live…

Ciberloco- You like the 'bathroom disaster' idea, eh? Well, you should like this chapter then! .

BellaBlack- Glad you like my writing style! The happy/funny/feel-good stories aren't usually my forte, I'm either writing random, insane things that make no sense, or really angst fics. This is a trial run of how well I can write a happy Sirius fic while coping with book 5. PADFOOT LIVES!

Rio- Enjoy!

TigerLily Padfoot- I'm not usually one to read Baby Harry stories, though I'm sure they're very cute. I mostly stick to AU's, and I'm a sucker for angst…; Am I writing this okay so far? I don't know how other Baby Harry fics are written, what do you think? Sirius mess something up? _Never._ [wink!]

Lady Taliesin- No one ever said it was a good idea to leave Harry with Sirius…but Lily made it very clear that if he messes anything up he'll regret it. I guess we'll all just have to wait and see what happens!

AuroraAbbie Snape- [hands over large chocolate chip cookie] Keep reviewing!!

Pain Revisited- [gives chocolate chip cookie the size of a dinner plate] Big enough for ya? I seriously love Sirius too! Seriously! And I'm in serious denial about the end of OotP! Sirius seriously can't be gone! I typed my little heart out as instructed, enjoy chapter three!

Morristoner- Here it is!

FH- The Potters are a very trusting family (as we know…[sob] DAMN YOU, WORMTAIL!), and Sirius is their best friend, so that's all the reason they need to leave Harry with him…right? _Or _Remus was busy, and no one would leave him with Peter…er…Sirius is just cool! That's my reasoning! Glad ya like the story anyways!

Car Car- Sirius would be fun as a babysitter, wouldn't he?! Glad you like the fic so far. Didn't mean to make you sad, but I feel the same way. I wish as much as anyone else that Harry could have grown up in Godric's Hollow…which is why I read AU's! YAY AU's! Enjoy chapter three!

Sexy Black- [gives bowl of ice cream] There's your dinner! Happy to have you reading, enjoy!

I hate everything- You need more, eh? Wow, I feel really appreciated! Thanks for the ego boost, lol! Here's the next chapter!

Star-Stallion- Stinky babies are bad news, lemme tell ya! Here's the update!

ERMonkey, Burner of Cookies- Sorry I got your name wrong last time! Sure, the cookies can be half-baked! Don't see anyone complaining, lol. [gives HALF-BAKED chocolate chip cookie] Make sure you enjoy the chapter as much as you like the cookie!

Disclaimer: I reeeeeeeally don't want to get sued! I don't own Harry Potter; I neither created Harry nor signed a contract with JKR. She keeps avoiding me…

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Sirius Black: Expert Babysitter

Chapter three: Bath-time Chaos

Sirius laid Harry down on the changing table and cringed; judging from the smell, this promised to be a very nasty diaper.

"Why did it have to be _chocolate_ ice cream?!" he muttered, reaching gingerly for the diaper. He winced as he removed it, "Ugh! That's disgusting!"

Sirius quickly wadded up the dirty diaper and pitched it into the waste can. He grabbed a new one, cleaned Harry up, and replaced the diaper as fast as possible.

"Okay, Harry, no more of that. Got it?"

Harry giggled happily as if saying 'I'll do whatever I damn well please!'. Sirius sighed and looked at the clock. It was nearing eight o'clock and Harry's bed time, and he still hadn't had a bath.

Sirius scooped the child up, "C'mon, kid, bath time."

Sirius grabbed Harry's pajamas, then made his way down the hall and into the bathroom. He reached down and turned on the water to fill the bathtub. Harry reached out and Sirius bent so he could touch the water.

"That's lukewarm, right?" he grinned at Harry.

Harry squealed and slapped at the water. Sirius pulled him away from the faucet, removed the diaper he'd just dressed Harry in, and set him in the shallow water. Harry laughed and splashed, then reached for a bottle that was sitting on the side of the tub.

Sirius picked up the bottle and examined it, "_Lady Genevieve's Bubble Bath_? You want bubbles?"

Harry reached up to try and grab the bottle from Sirius, grunting and straining with the effort.

"I'll take that as a yes. What can it hurt, anyways?"

Sirius shook the bottle gently, there seemed only to be a few capfuls left. He shrugged, unscrewed the cap, and dumped the contents under the running water. Sirius stood up and walked over to the medicine cabinet, sifting through it for Harry's baby wash.

"There it is." He pulled the bottle out and turned back to the tub, "HARRY!"

The tub was overflowing with suds and Harry had disappeared beneath them. Sirius knelt down and grabbed up the empty bottle of bubble bath, scanning the instructions hastily.

"'Add three drops to running water and enjoy the soothing aroma of…' _Two drops?! _I thought it was one of Lily's Muggle things!"

He tossed the bottle aside and fumbled through the soap suds for the faucet. He turned the water off and began digging for Harry.

"Harry?! Harry! Don't worry, Harry, you're okay! You're alright, I've got you!" Sirius clawed through the bubbles and down to water. "Harry?! Harry where are you?!"

Sirius stood and pulled his wand from his pocket. He flicked his wrist and the bubbles vanished immediately. Harry was no where to be seen.

"Harry?!" Sirius dropped to his knees beside the bathtub and starred into the water as if Harry would suddenly appear. He put his hand on the floor to steady himself and felt water.

"Puddle?" he looked at the floor and saw a trail of water leading out of the bathroom.

Sirius stood and followed the trail of water to the door. It lead straight off the tile floor of the bathroom and out into the hallway.

"Oh no…"

Hiding somewhere in Godric's Hollow was a naked baby.

0000000000

Lily swirled the wine around in the bottom of her glass distractedly.

"Something bothering you, love?" James asked, reaching across the table and placing his hand over hers.

Lily looked up at James and grinned weakly, "Just thinking about Harry and Sirius."

"Ah," James replied, "well, don't you worry your pretty red head, Harry's in good hands, I assure you."

"I know…but I still can't help but worry."

James nodded. He knew how she felt; everyone was on edge constantly nowadays. Times were dark, but he was going to do everything in his power to make sure Lily could enjoy this night.

"Everything's fine, sweetheart, I promise…"

0000000000

"Harry?!" Sirius hollered, looking under couches and tables, "Harry, come out! This isn't funny!"

0000000000

"…It's past eight, I'm sure Harry's sound asleep by now and Sirius is down stairs…reading or something…."

0000000000

Sirius ran back up the stairs, thinking now that he was foolish to ever assume Harry could have crawled down the stairs in the first place.

"He's got to be upstairs still." He muttered to himself as he stepped up onto the second floor landing.

A resounding giggle echoed from downstairs, accompanied by a shout of 'Pahfoo!'.

"Or he could be downstairs…Harry!" Sirius bounded down the stairs once again.

0000000000

"Reading?" Lily laughed.

"Okay, maybe not reading." James chuckled, "But I'm sure everything's fine."

Lily nodded, "You're right, I'm just being silly."

They both raised their glasses and clinked them together.

0000000000

Sirius tiptoed into the kitchen, holding a towel; Harry was facing the opposite direction and had no idea his godfather was sneaking up behind him. It was ridiculous how fast Harry could crawl, so Sirius was using stealth he'd learned and practiced with his fellow Marauders.

"And…GOTCHA!" Sirius gathered a squirming Harry up in the towel. "You're a worth opponent, Harry, but you need a bit of fine tuning before you can beat me!"

Harry blinked and grinned, not caring that he had been caught. After all, to him the whole thing was just a fun game. Sirius sighed.

"Well, I'm not going to try and give you a bath after that. I'm too tired. Let's just get you ready for bed, how's that sound?"

Harry cooed sweetly, making Sirius grin. Sirius yawned and carried the towel-wearing child upstairs to the nursery. He was beginning to really respect James and Lily's ability to care for the rambunctious infant, and he definitely knew he wouldn't be sane long if he were to be in charge of Harry 24-7.

"But who ever said your mum and dad were sane?" he asked Harry, who only laughed and grabbed hold of his earlobe. "Ouch!"

A/n: Wheeeee! Finally finished! Sorry about the delay, hope you enjoyed chapter three! Okay, this time I'm not going to put a 'when we get to reviews' tag because I end up getting the reviews so fast I don't even have time to write the chapter before it's supposed to be posted! Keep reviewing though, it motivates me to continue quickly! .v Feel free to leave suggestions for what I should do next, but make 'em short, sweet, and to the point, because I already have my outline for where it's going. I love you all! Expect the next chapter soon!


	4. A Marauders Bedtime Tale

**Note**: Thousands upon millions of apologies, my dear readers. I know "expect the next chapter soon" in no way means 'three years from now,' but better late than never, eh? There have been many reasons why the continuation of this story was hindered for so very long. When I began this fic I was a freshman in high school…and I'm now in college. I've moved out of my family home on circumstances similar to our dear Sirius. I've been through times of 45+ hour work weeks, computer crashes/loss of files, and deaths of loved ones [which certainly affected my ability to write lighthearted stories…leading to the rebirth of a long stashed fic, CWM (see profile). So, sob stories aside, I'm back. Maybe not with a vengeance, but you may see me flitting about on occasion : Thanks for the patience. Now, let's see if we can start wrapping this up, hm?

**Disclaimer**: You know the routine. I don't own, yadda yadda.

**Sirius Black: Expert Babysitter**

**Chapter Four: A Marauders Bedtime Tale**

Setting Harry down in his crib, Sirius scrubbed a hand over his eyes and sighed.

"I'm getting too old for this."

There had been an epic battle to wrestle Harry into his pajamas and Sirius found himself thoroughly worn out. He looked down between his fingers at the child staring up at him. Harry giggled.

"What? Not tired?" he questioned the smiling baby.

Sirius turned to look around the room for inspiration of any sort. In the corner were a rocker and an end table topped with a few picture books, presumably left by Lily during the same dilemma Sirius was now experiencing.

"How's about a story, then," Sirius rubbed his chin as he racked his brain for an appropriate bedtime tale for his godson. "I don't think I know any kiddy stories, and I'm sure you've probably heard all those--" he jerked his thumb at the rocker, "--plenty of times…not that you really understand them, do you?"

Harry was paying Sirius no attention and was instead picking at the feet of his pajamas. Sirius chewed the inside of his cheek for a moment, and then strode across the room to examine the books.

"May as well give it a try," he muttered, choosing the book at the bottom of the stack. "How about 'Goldilocks and the Three Bears'? Been a while since you heard that one, right?"

Harry, who had hauled himself into a standing position and was peering over the top of the crib, blew a raspberry.

Sirius narrowed his eyes and smirked, grabbing the next book, "Yeah, I didn't think that sounded very interesting either. What about 'The Three Little Pigs'?"

"No!" Harry shouted, smiling wide.

"'Humpty Dumpty'?"

"No!"

"'Little Red--' "

"No! No!" Harry jumped to punctuate his distaste for each story, laughing.

"Who taught you that?" Sirius tilted his head sideways, watching the child.

"No! No! No!"

"Is that right? Well if you're going to be disagreeable then you can just go to sleep by yourself!" Sirius walked briskly across the nursery and halted in the doorway with his hand over the light switch.

"No!"

"Oh yes." He flipped the switch, stepped into the hallway, and pulled the door shut behind him.

Instantly, an earsplitting shriek rent the air. Sirius jumped and flung open the door, whipping his wand out with the other hand.

"Harry!"

The shrieking stopped the moment the door opened. Sirius's eyes searched the room for any sign of danger, and then fell upon Harry. The infant was still standing at the edge of his crib gripping the railing wearing a small smile.

Sirius shook his head and chuckled softly, "You really don't play fair. Alright, I'll give it another try, though I can't promise you'll like my stories any better."

As Sirius reached the crib Harry lifted his arms and grunted. Sirius hoisted the baby into his arms and seated himself on the rocking chair in the corner, leaving the lights off. He situated Harry comfortably on his lap facing outward and rocked the chair gently.

"This is the story about Madam Moon and the Sad Little Wolf," Sirius began, making the title up on the spot. He flicked his wand and a small white orb of light formed in front of Harry and himself, just above Harry's head. Harry reached out to touch it and Sirius moved it just out of reach of his chubby fingers. "No Harry, you're too young to reach the moon just yet."

Concentrating, Sirius molded a face onto the surface of the 'moon,' adding sparkling green eyes that looked lovingly down on Harry. The child made a happy cooing noise at the familiar sight, making his godfather smile.

"Now," Sirius continued, "Madam Moon was the guardian of the night and all the creatures in it. She loved her children very much and nothing made her happier than to see them at peace.

"One night Madam Moon gained a new child. She was overjoyed at the new addition to her family but when she went to visit him she became troubled. He was a young wolf, and very, very sad."

Sirius conjured a small brown wolf pup below the moon at eye-level with Harry. The pup's head drooped low and he trembled.

"Pahfoo!" Harry made a grab for the wolf.

"No, Harry, not Padfoot." Sirius stroked Harry's messy black hair before continuing, "The little wolf was scared and all alone. Madam Moon tried to cheer him up, calling all the stars in her sky to come keep the little wolf company. But he was still very sad. Madam Moon frowned, heartbroken that she couldn't help the little wolf feel better."

The face on the charmed moon changed as she waned into a gibbous, then an upside-down crescent and eventually disappeared leaving only the wolf.

"She would return each month to visit the little wolf, smiling hopefully and thinking that her little wolf surely would be happy the next time she arrived."

The moon reappeared from the bottom up, starting in the shape of a smiling crescent until returning to a full moon. The glittering eyes blinked expectedly down at the wolf pup, who merely walked a short distance before curling into a tight ball and shivering. Harry whined and tried to pet the pitiable creature.

"Madam Moon continued to watch the little wolf each month for years but she could never cheer him from his gloom. She would always leave disappointed that she couldn't figure out a way to help her poor, lonely little wolf. He needed more companionship than she could offer him. He needed friendship.

One night Madam Moon was making her way to visit the young wolf when she spotted some other creatures of the night."

With another twirl of his wand, Sirius summoned up three more figures: A stag, a large, black dog and a rat.

"Madam Moon watched them play together and thought of her poor wolf."

The stag and the dog began chasing each other in circles as the rat watched and scampered back and forth next to them.

"Suddenly, Madam Moon had an idea. What if these animals could cheer up her lonely little wolf? She decided she would lead them to the little wolf, but she was going to need some help. She asked the clouds if they would hide the stars so only her light could be seen, promising that if they did she would never force them to leave again and that they could be in the night sky as well as the day. The greedy clouds agreed and quickly covered the sky in a dark blanket, leaving only a tiny hole for Madam Moon to peek through at her little wolf."

Sirius motioned at the curtains with his wand and they drew closed, making the nursery grow darker. The only light in the room now came from the glittering eyes of Sirius's moon, which were peeking between thick charmed clouds and shinning a spotlight onto the little wolf.

"As the stars disappeared, the rat, dog and stag stopped playing. It was too dark to see anything except a thin moonbeam. They decided to follow the light so they could play some more."

The little animals ran towards the light and the wolf figure. Harry squealed as the wolf stood to face the newcomers. Sirius smiled down at his captivated godson.

"They reached the moonbeam and were surprised to find a wolf there. The lonely little wolf was afraid that the other animals wouldn't like him and he tried to hide, but the others stopped him."

As the wolf figure tried to creep away the black dog blocked his way. The wolf turned the other way, but was stopped by the stag. The moon watched eagerly.

"They told the little wolf that they didn't want him to have to leave. They didn't mind him being there and they came to play with him." Sirius paused thoughtfully as his mind wandered for a moment, and continued, "The little wolf was overcome with happiness for the first time in his life. He finally had friends and he would be lonely no more. Madam Moon smiled brightly as the rat, stag, dog and wolf played together for the rest of the night," the little animal figures romped and wrestled about in the moonlight, "and each month when she visited her little wolf he was never alone again. The end."

Sirius looked down on Harry. The child's eyelids were beginning to droop slightly. Sirius yawned.

"Not out yet, eh? Well I've a feeling you won't make it all the way through another one," he gazed at the ceiling, trying to think up another story. "Oh! I've got it. Alright, this is the story of how your dad and I tricked your mum into going on a date with ol' Prongsie…"

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**Author's Note: **Well, for as long as that took I hope you enjoyed it. I really had no idea what I was going to write when I sat down to make up the bedtime story, but I think it turned out quite nicely. No promises on when I'll have the next chapter up, but I will say that it will be the final installment. Thanks for sticking with me!


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